High Heat and Low Expectations
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: It's too hot outside to do anything. So Lisanna and Bickslow don't. Do anything that is. At all. - One-shot.


High Heat and Low Expectations

"This might be the laziest morning we've had in a long time."

Those words, that short sentence, broke the tentative agreement that they, as well as the dolls, had had the whole morning. They'd both been up for about two hours at that point, but neither had moved much or even spoken. They just laid there, Bickslow in his boxers and Lisanna in her bra and panties, uncharacteristically silent for once.

Until then. Because then she'd killed it.

"It's too hot," Bickslow complained as he laid there, arms stretched out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sweating just laying here. The only reason I haven't gotten up is because when I do, you're gonna be totally grossed out."

"Why?"

"I haven't moved a muscle in, oh, about an hour. I have a total wet spot from all this sweat on the mattress by now, I guaranty it."

"Ew. Bickslow-"

"You asked."

"Mmmm. I always forget not to do that."

He moved finally, just slightly, so that he could glance down at the woman. She was curled beneath his arm, her head poised to snuggle against his chest, but she hadn't since they'd woken up. It was too hot to touch. It was too hot to do anything.

"I would say that we should go down to the guild, get in the pool, but I bet everyone's already had the same idea."

"Probably," she mumbled. "Mmmm. When I get older and buy a house, it is definitely going to be one with a pool."

"A pool, huh?"

"Mmmhmm. I thought about one with a lake or something, but that would only, you know, breed bugs."

"During the winter though, it'd freeze and you could ice skate on it."

"Mmmm. Guess you're right."

"And I'm sure there'd be trees and stuff everywhere. To build forts and stuff."

"Yeah."

"And you'd be all alone, huh? Such a big property. You could do whatever you wanted."

"Mmmhmm."

"Where would you find a place like that though?"

"Not in Magnolia."

"Certainly not."

She only sighed. "Just a silly dream anyhow."

"It'd be a cool place though, if you ever had a kid."

That made her pause. "For Mira and Laxus' kids, maybe, but I don't think I'll ever have a kid."

"Why don't you think that?"

She turned her eyes up then, to stare at him. "Because…well…"

It was an awkward conversation to have. Especially considering they'd only been together for six months. She didn't want to weird him out or anything. Though, he had been the one to bring it up, so it made it okay, she was pretty sure.

"You don't want a kid, right?"

He blinked. Then he actually sat up. Sure enough, he left a sweat shadow in his wake. "What are you talking about? When'd I ever say that?"

Lisanna shifted some, making a face at the sweat he'd left on the bed, before saying simply, "You already have your babies. What would you want with, you know, a real one?"

"Papa," some of the babies agreed, though the heat seemed to be affecting them too. Or at least they were pretending it did, as they laid languidly around on the bed. Lisanna was pretty sure they were just mimicking Bickslow, as she was nearly certain souls didn't get affected by temperature.

"Well," he said slowly, just staring down at her. She focused on his face tattoo, as she always had kinda liked it. Although she also kinda hated it. It made him who he was though. "Sure, these guys are my babies. But…a real kid would be fun too."

"It'd be fun, fine, but I just don't think…you know, that I'd be a good parent."

"You? Kid, you're, like, the best person ever in all of existence. Being a parent would be nothing for you."

"I dunno though," she said softly. "I'm not really…you know. Like… You know how Mira is? All motherly and stuff? I'm not that. I'm just…here. I like to hangout with you and Natsu and Lucy and blow money. I wouldn't know what to do with a kid."

"Right now, sure," he said. "I wouldn't either. But eventually it'd be a cool thing to do. Have a kid."

"But what if I didn't know how to, like, comfort it when it was crying? Or what if I accidentally, like, dropped it? Or something? Then what?"

"Hmmm."

"Yeah. Hmmm."

"I never thought about dropping it. Do people do that? That sounds horrible. Then it would, like, have a huge dent in its head or something and probably hate me for the rest of its life."

She blinked. Then, slowly, she said, "Or you might just kill it."

"That sounds even worse!" He fell back into the bed, though he shot up just as quickly. "Yuck! Now we gotta get out of bed."

"You were laying in sweat this whole time, but now it disgusts you?"

"Very." He tumbled out of bed. "Come on, Lissy. Time for a shower."

"I don't wanna get up," she complained. "How about you shower and then-"

"Nope. Together or never."

"Those are the only options?"

"Mmmhmm. And you see all that sweat that was left on the bed? Imagine how much it'll make me stink in, oh, the next hour or so."

Groaning, she pushed out of bed as well. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

Their shower didn't last long and, after it was over, they ended up on the couch, as there was no way either was going near that sweat shadow, just as scantily dressed as before. Lisanna had on a pair of her tiniest booty shorts and an undershirt, while Bickslow'd only pulled on his jeans.

"Looks like our lazy morning is now a lazy day," she told him to which he only grunted, his eyes mostly shut as she snuggled against his chest. "But I'm so bored."

"What do I look like? Your entertainment?"

"Uh, you usually are, yeah."

"Hmmm. That's quite the compliment."

"Compliment, Papa," the babies agreed from where they were all resting on the arm rests and back of the couch. "Compliment."

"We could keep talking," he said after a moment. "'bout how you think you'd make a shitty parent."

"You don't think you would?"

"I think I'd be plenty fun."

"We're both mages, Bickslow," she told him. "And you take a lot of super dangerous jobs. We'd be horrible parents. What if something happened to us?"

"Both our parents died on us and we're fine."

"Fine? We're fine?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"Bickslow, you dress up like a knight and keep lost souls you find in the bodies of dolls that you call your babies. And I was nearly killed by my brother only to be transported to another world. We're not fine!"

"I think we're fine. And I think if you popped out a kid tomorrow, we'd be just as fine. I'd get it a little crib, buy some diapers, and bam! Parents of the year."

She lifted her head from his chest to stare up at him. "You're not serious are you?"

"Of course not." He had his eyes closed. "But still. If we ever did have a kid, we'd be fine. You know that. I mean, I'd play with it, you'd do all the actual raising and diaper changes. Just how it's intended."

"Oh, Bickslow."

He took to stroking her head. "You really don't want to have a kid? Ever?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

Leaning down some, he pressed a kiss to her head. "What if you were with another guy? Like…someone else? Then would you want a kid?"

"It's not you, Bickslow. It's-"

"What if it was a normal guy? Like someone that wasn't a mage?"

She buried her head back in his chest. "It's not that. And if I did have a kid, I'd want it to be with, you know, someone like you. Someone that was super strong and good at magic. So you could…teach him. Or her. Or whatever."

"You think I'm super strong?"

"Yeah. And I'd think that it was cute if we had a son and he, like, learned from you. You know?"

He peeked an eye open to stare down at her. "I think you're strong too."

"Oh, shut up."

"I do," he insisted. "And when you turn into that cat? And wear that outfit? Shit, Lissy."

"Turning you on is not a show of my strength."

"No, but it's a show that you're super sexy."

She gave him a look. "Can we get back to the point?"

"Oh. Right." He closed his eyes again. "My kid would definitely learn to be a seith. I'd teach him everything! Or her. I ain't too picky."

"So you do want a kid?"

He shrugged as best he could with her on his chest. "I'm not, like, saying I do, but if I had one, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I'd be a little happy, you know? If you did end up pregnant. Kinda stressed."

"What about you then?"

"Hmmm?"

"If it wasn't me, if it was another woman, would you want one?"

"Depends," he said slowly. "Is she hotter than you?"

"Bickslow-"

"I'm kidding, kid." He snuggled her then. "You know that. I'm the same as you. Of all the women that I've ever been with, if I had to have a kid with one of them, I'd want it to be you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Unless we, like, break up or something. Then my next girlfriend takes that place."

Groaning, she said, "You're annoying."

"And you gotta learn to take a joke." He took to stroking her back. "And this heat has gotta learn to go somewhere else. It's too hot!"

"Too hot," his babies agreed. Lisanna only rested there against him though.

"One of us is going to have to make some food eventually."

"Not it," he said.

"Not it," the babies mimicked.

"Well, I ain't making crap," she told him.

"And that's why you can't ever be a good mother. Sheesh. Me and the babies ask you for, what? A thousand things a day? And you only get five hundred accomplished? You're really something, kid."

Groaning, Lisanna said, "Can we go back to not talking? Please?"

"Gladly."

So of course it was her that got up about twenty minutes later to make lunch. Of course. But it was also her that couldn't stop smiling. Because Bickslow wanted a baby with her. No time soon or anything, but eventually. And that was definitely something.

"Sandwiches are superb, Lissy."

"Superb," the babies agreed. "Lissy."

"But," Bickslow went on. "One of us is gonna have to go wash the bed sheets. All the sweat and everything gonna make them stink. And you don't want that, do you?"

"Do you?" the babies asked. "Do you?"

"You are really bugging me today," she told him with a shake of her head. Bickslow only wrapped an arm around her though as they sat side by side on the couch. And even though that only made it hotter, that was okay. Better to be hot and sweaty with someone than alone and actually bored any day.

"It's just 'cause I love you so much, kid."

And it was still so fresh for her, someone saying that they loved her other than her siblings, that Lisanna blushed while he only kissed her head.

"Love you, kid," his dolls insisted, never liking being left out. "Love you!"

She only smiled though, letting Bickslow grin down at her as she said, "I love you guys too."

And she did. Really.


End file.
